Changing is Hard

Instead of writing a few different book reviews, I decided to just combine them in this one post because all of these books shared a similar message. Over the past few weeks I've read:

1. Changed Into His Image by Jim Berg
2. The Wisdom of God by Nancy Guthrie
3. Simply Tuesday by Emily P. Freeman
4. Hands Free Life by Rachel Macy Stafford
5. Hands Free Mama by Rachel Macy Stafford (1/2 bc my library book ran out...also this was very similar to her other book, Hands Free Life.) 
6. It's Not What You Think by Jefferson Bethke

All of these books have very different authors with different messages, but because my mind is in one place right now, I felt like they all came together. 

Here are a few short take-aways: 

1. Small Moment Living is necessary and good. It allows you to breathe and enjoy life and not feel burdened by all the things "you think you have to do." 

2. Resting in Jesus is necessary and hard. My flesh battles and wants to take control, but Jesus is the ultimate wisdom and in him we find rest for when we are weary and burdened. 

3. Life is short. Put down the phone. Put down the swiffer. Put down the windex. Enjoy your family. Be ALL THERE. Watch. Learn. Pray. 

It's been eye opening to me how I've learned my problem with worry and control is connected so much with faith and small moment living. In a way, these books have broken me. They have made me question how I've lived. They've messed with me in a way that SO NEEDED TO HAPPEN. I've spent so much of my life TRYING to control and worrying about what will happen and what has happened. In fact, I just wrote about that in February. I've been a slave to those feelings and thoughts. 

As I mentioned in a previous post....First, God showed me through his word how critical it was to switch my thoughts and feelings with his thoughts and feelings (Psalm 43:3-4, Psalm 51:6). Then I started to see how this began to change my trust in him. Because he was helping discipline my mind with all of him, less of me, began to replay in my head. I began to realize that many of the small and big things I worried about were me trying to take control of a situation. Worry was a symptom of my pride (control) and lack of faith. God opened my eyes to all the crazy ways I tried to take control. 
-Replaying situations in my head and trying to figure out how I could have handled it better.
-How I could change someone.
-Obsessing with how my house appeared. Spending too much time doing things that didn't matter. 
-Being unsatisfied when I didn't handle things perfectly. 
-Manipulating prayers so that the outcomes would be in my favor. (Yeah...not fun admitting that one) 
-RUSHING through life and not stopping and smelling the roses 

These books helped me to specifically see ways I wasn't living correctly and gave strategies for how to correct these ways. Ultimately, the Bible is the ultimate source of truth, but I felt like God used these other books in a big way to give me perspective from other people who struggled too. 

All that to say, changing is so hard. There are days I want to rush, I want to worry, I want to control, I want to obsess and I want to live in a way I've lived for 28 years. I feel like I'm battling for this change, and I'm trying to see that battle as progress, especially since there was no battle, even a few months ago. In the moments I do fail, I'm trying to thank God for helping me to be aware, because as Rachel Macy Stafford says, "The truth hurts, but the truth heals." Every time I recognize another way to change, it heals me, it brings me closer to Christ and ultimately closer to Phil and Cora. 

Although change is hard, I'm also recognizing peace replacing impatience, anger, worry, discontentment and suffering. Things come up and instead of freaking out and trying to take control, I'm stopping and resting. I'm praying more. I'm not as scared all the time. God keeps pouring all this Scripture out to me about his control and his plan and his way and it's starting to sink in. I've fought for a long time, but now I'm surrendering. So I guess I shouldn't say I'm battling for change...I guess I'm surrendering for change? I'm not sure if that makes sense, but it does in this moment. I'm not perfect in this endeavor and most days, I fail a lot. But praise God that he turns "our striving's into works of grace." 

Psalm 1:3
"He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither." 

Changing and Growing in Spring

Spring has come early to Michigan. This whole winter has been warm and wonderful compared to the two former winters where we got pounded with snow. Because it's warmer, we've been able to get outside more. The birds are chirping and the bugs are clearly heard now. Little patches of grass are greening up and buds are forming on the tree. I think they don't know that it's only March. It's fun watching things growing and changing, especially my little Cora. I forgot how much Cora loves being outside, and it's been sweet to watch her get out and play. I'm already noticing a lot of differences in her compared to last spring/summer. A lot of her personality is the same Cora I've know since she was a tiny baby, but now it's coming out more in the her little conversations and her decisions. It comes out when she laughs at things she thinks are funny and when she looks or studies something she is curious about or trying to figure out. It's also comes out in her interests and in her hobbies. Cora is still active and determined, qualities that will be her greatest strengths and greatest weaknesses at times too. She loves running and moving and rarely sits to do anything except watch a "show." I think that's why she loves being outside--lots of fresh air and space to run and be loud. I know there will be times that require Cora to be still and focused, but for now, I let her run and play as much as she can, because these days go quick. In the mean time, we practice being still and focused while we read books and pray to Jesus. 

Cora's determination never ceases to amaze me. Often time she gets a "plan" in her head of what she wants to accomplish and does everything in her power to carry it out. For example, she wanted the tarp off of her playground in our backyard and managed to get half of it off herself. The only thing she was unable to do is LIFT the playground and UNTIE the ropes, she did manage to pull the loose parts free and made it much easier for me. She worked on this for about 15 minutes, which is a long time for an ACTIVE 2 year old to do anything. It was such a small moment, but I felt like it was a glimpse of a future driven Cora doing everything she could to accomplish her goals. With determination, though, comes a strong will at times...determined to have her way. I relate to her SO much in this way. This part of Cora is something I see in myself... Something I still struggle with. So with Cora, I think it will be a balance of letting her make and carry out her goals while obeying Mom and Dad (and Jesus). 

Finally, I'm seeing a sweet and delicate side of Cora that is all girl and so much fun. Cora has always been sensitive, but usually if she felt embarrassed or if she got in trouble. Now I am seeing her sensitivity in a new light. She notices and even senses emotion now. (I'm working on my negative emotions (disappointment, anger, frustration, worry, etc...) so that they don't affect her negatively.) She's sweet and caring towards all animals and bugs and babies. She is constantly showering me and daddy with compliments and affirmations like, "I lub you so much!" "You're da best eva!" "Das my fabrite." "I sit by you mama?" "Can I come too?" "Can I help you?" I notice that she often will share her toys with me or bring me a fruit snack if she is getting herself one too. Sweet little things. She loves pink, princesses, jewelry, and dresses. She'd probably wear her Easter dress every day of the week if I let her. Sweet and delicate...

It's been fun watching all the growing and changing around here. I can't wait until it's even warmer and we can be outside almost every day. Looking forward to our time in FL in April where we will have lots of outside time too. 

Progress

Time for an update! I'm excited to say that our master bedroom and master bathroom are now painted. It took around 2 weeks to tape and paint and I'm really happy with the results. Now over time, we will buy some curtains and bedding. There isn't a rush for those things. I'm just happy I could get the painting done before the weather gets nice and all I want to do is be outside. :) 

I'm happy to report that I've still been meeting my new year goals. I'm working on reading 3 different books right now. When I finish, I will write a book summary on each of those books. My goal has been to read 2-3 new books per month. So far I've met that goal for the past 3 months.

I've also been getting up early 5-6 days a week. Right now, 6:00 is the earliest I get up and I usually sleep in on Saturday and Sunday. This time has become a luxury and I look forward to it every day (even if it's hard to get out of bed some days). 

I've been keeping up with tidying well. The only thing I have left to do is the pantry, but I need some bins from IKEA to help me do that. I haven't had the chance to get up there recently so I will just wait to do that. 

I've added working out to my goals. I felt like once I could be disciplined with a few different things, I could add another thing in the mix. I started with Jillian Michaels 30 day Shred. It lives up to it's name-it shredding me. (UGH). Right now I've been getting in 4-5 days a week. Any more days than that and I get too exhausted and tired. 

I'm trying to BE in bed by 10:30 every night. It's not easy, but most nights I am meeting that goal. It makes getting up in the morning much easier. 

I've been trying to find times to implement reading with Cora and finding times to talk about Jesus with her. I've been using casual moments here and there to chat with her about it. Today she asked to bring her Bible to Bible study with us. It melted my heart. I found her a bag that looked like mine and we put her Bible in there with it. Although she doesn't use it for her class, I thought it was sweet she wanted to bring it. I think we will make that a habit. :) 

I haven't blogged much recently, but I feel like I am doing it enough to keep track of what I am learning from my reading and also just my thoughts on life. I need to start keeping a notepad handy, though, so that when I get an idea of something I want to blog about, I can remember it later. 

The one goal I think I can be better about is giving more. I haven't kept up well with writing cards to other people. I ran out of stamps and I let it become an excuse to not write them. I also feel like I could be giving more in other ways, but I think I will pray this week for ways that I can do that for other people. 

This isn't an interesting post. It's just accountability for me to reevaluate my New Years goals and make sure that I am accomplishing what I set out to do this year. :)

A year later...

Today marks a year since I popped Phil a big question on our date at Bonefish. "Are you ready to start trying to have another baby?" This felt like a much bigger deal than when we decided to start trying with our first (Cora).  Phil and I never had a formal talk and we were really laid back about it. We wouldn't try and we wouldn't prevent. A month later, Cora was conceived. It happened fast and before we knew it, we had the most perfect baby girl. We never knew we could love anyone so much. Being pregnant, Cora's BIRTH day, and family memories together are some of my happiest memories to date. I have LOVED every second of being a Mom (even the difficult moments have been very fulfilling). 
Well, back to our date at Bonefish... We chatted and decided that we were both ready to try and have another baby and felt like it was a good choice. We were happy and excited. Nothing was wrong with this situation. But, this is where I spiraled. In my mind, I began to proceed to figure out which month would be best to give birth to a baby in Michigan... because a baby in the winter? What if it snows? What would I do for a nursery this time? What names would sound cute with Cora? I started planning. Again, nothing wrong with this situation, but, looking back, I see it differently. 
Why do I see it differently? A year later, we don't have another baby, and one baby we never met is in heaven. God has used the waiting and the loss to show me why my feelings and the way I've been thinking has been wrong since the second I popped the question. 
First, God showed me that babies happen in his timing. Planning what month to have a baby in just seems crazy to me now. I'm embarrassed to even admit that I thought that, but I'm being real. Now, I'd be happy to have a baby in rain, snow, or shine. I have confidence that whatever the weather would be, it would be okay because God is in control. The baby will happen in His timing.
Second, God has allowed me to experience a SMALL taste of what many women have gone through. I have friends and family who have had multiple miscarriages and struggled with infertility for YEARS. Waiting one year and going through a miscarriage has helped me to understand these feelings in a small way. Cora has always been a blessing, but now I see her quick conception, safe birth, and current health in a completely different way. I'm thankful God has allowed me to be blessed by her all over again in a new way. 
Third, God  helped me to stop focusing on what I didn't have and allowed me to start focusing on what I did have. A wonderful husband, healthy daughter, loving family and friends, amazing church, my salvation, etc...

Finally, during the miscarriage, God brought a verse to me and the Lord used it to begin a chain reaction in the way I've been thinking and feeling. 

Psalm 43:3
Send out your light and your truth; let them guide me. Let them lead me to your holy hill and to your dwelling! Then I will go to the altar of God, to God my exceeding joy, and I will praise you with the lyre, O God, my God."

I read that verse in my Bible Study called The Wisdom of God by Nancy Guthrie. She explains it this way, 

"But he [the Psalmist] knows his feelings are not telling him the truth, so he asks God to break through his emotions so he can embrace the truth." 

This is when it hit me. My feelings had not been telling me the truth for months. I hadn't even recognized it. I had let wanting to have a baby and anxiety about many other things consume my mind and feelings, and I hadn't even recognized that. The thought terrified me. This verse was such a healing balm during that time, that it brought me a real peace, because I had hope that the feelings I was experiencing, could be replaced with the feelings of Christ.

Then came the next verse, 

Psalm 51:6

"Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being, and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart." 

This verse came from my Bible Study too. (The Wisdom of God by Nancy Guthrie) She says, 

"David wants truth  from God to replace the lies he's listened to and the wisdom from God to replace the foolishness that he has tolerated." 

This verse went deeper. Not only were my feelings not telling me the truth, my thoughts weren't either. I need Christ in every fiber of my being. Again, I was terrified that I hadn't recognized this. This verse gave me peace too, because I had hope that the thoughts I was thinking, could be replaced with the thoughts of Christ. 

These verses have been constantly playing in my mind for weeks now. This year looks a lot different than what I thought it would be a year ago, but it sure is a lot better than I could have ever planned it. This year, I have a calm realization that my feelings and thoughts are not best, and that God's feelings and thoughts are best and exactly what I need. God is not pacing around, unaware of any situation. He is seated, powerful and sovereign, working out all things for our good. I don't need to try and take control and make things happen and get frustrated when they don't work out. His plan is so much better.

Psalm 2:4a. says, "He who sits in the heavens laughs..." 

Nancy Guthrie says, "...the next voice we hear speaking in the Psalms is the voice of God, who is seated in serenity, unperturbed, confident, enthroned in heaven." 

So, finally, I end with this thought from Changed into His Image by Jim Berg, 

"The toxicity of this heart is so potent that when God wants to judge a man, all He has to do is turn that man over to his own heart. What a frightening thought! You and I have enough evil residing in us that if God were to let us have our own way, we would destroy ourselves. Rather than demanding our own way, we ought to be begging God never to let us have what our flesh demands. We ought to pray, 'Dear God, limit me, bind me, restrict me. Do whatever you have to, but please don't let me have my own way.'" 

Book Review: Lizzy and Jane

I laugh, because I went straight to Lizzy and Jane by Katherine Reay after I read The Hardest Peace thinking, "Surely this can't be any more sad than the last book." The irony is that Lizzy and Jane is about relationships and particularly one between two sisters, one of which has cancer. Although this story was fictional and not as raw and real as The Hardest Peace, it still pulled at my heart strings. I enjoyed it though, and I felt like reading The Hardest Peace before this book gave me a better understanding what Jane (the sister with cancer) was experiencing. This book was similar to Dear Mr. Knightly, because the main character, a NYC chef named Elizabeth ie. Lizzy, figures out shes been hiding her pain and loneliness in her career. Her Mom dies of cancer when she's young, her Dad can't handle it so he disappears from Lizzy mentally, and her sister (Jane) deserts her when her mom gets sick. The irony is she runs away from her problems loneliness in her hometown Seattle to NYC where she opens her restaurant, Feast, and discovers that not only is she lonely still, she feels no purpose in her life. Her food lacks quality and creativity and she's distant from everyone in her life. Her sister, Jane, is diagnosed with cancer and she is rocked. This is the situation with her mom all over again. Although she doesn't really have a relationship with her sister, she can't come to terms with losing another person. She leaves NYC for a short term trip to take care of her sister and her sister's family and finds purpose again. Through taking care of others, she forgets about herself and sees how she's been searching for the wrong things. It has a Christian perspective, but it is an undertone. The ending is really happy, so I enjoyed that too. 

Book Review: The Hardest Peace

Where to even begin. The Hardest Peace by Kara Tippetts was wonderful and all kinds of sad. I knew going into it that I would probably sob through the whole thing... and I did. I wanted to read this book, because I think a lot about what would happen to my family if Phil or I died. I think Kara did a good job of giving a real, raw and balanced look at what life was like for her during this hard season of life. A lot of my biggest fears, she experienced. The part that probably gripped me the most was when she had to have a conversation with her seven year old daughter about how she probably would die of cancer and not of old age. Her daughter had asked her Dad what he thought Mom (Kara) would die of...old age or cancer. He couldn't answer because his grief suffocated him in the moment. God gave Kara the grace to have the conversation with her little, but it took my breath away. It was horrible and beautiful and sad. It's not the pain of dying or even dying itself that scares me. Like Kara, it's leaving behind the ones you love and knowing that they are suffering and you are not anymore. It's maddening to think about. There were a few things that stood out to me in her book that brought me comfort and reminded me that God's grace is big enough for anything that may happen in our life. She reminded me that God's the author of life, joy, sadness, suffering, etc...

1. Even frustrations or routine are a luxury in our life- Kara longed for normal. She longed to WAIT in car line, make lunches, sign permission slips. Do I need to say more? Really sheds a new light on today's problems. 

2. God may not take our suffering away, but Kara came upon a verse where the psalmist prays to take the dread away from the suffering. That resonated with me. This is a real fear for me and I think for many people. Nobody wants to suffer, even though God uses it for his glory and for our good. The verse is Psalm 1:33,"Whoever listens to me will dwell secure and will be at ease, without dread of disaster." 

3. Every day is a gift, don't waste it- This about sums up the book. Every day is a gift. Embrace God's grace in your life. Suffering will come. God will be near. This makes me think of the last sentence in a prayer I pray every day from Valley Of Vision called Morning Dedication. It says, "May I speak each word as if my last word, and walk each step as my final one. If my life should end today, let this be my best day." 

Book Review: Dear Mr. Knightly

My most recent read, Dear Mr. Knightly by Katherine Reay, was not at all what I expected. Many of the blogs that I follow wrote about how much they loved this book, so when I saw that it was on sale on amazon, I went for it. I am soooo glad that I did. This book had me up reading to all hours of the night. The main character, Sam, was intriguing to me. I love the style that the author wrote in--a series of letters between Sam and her mysterious benefactor. The ending shattered me, because it's not what I wanted, but I was okay with it, because the ending made sense. 

This book really messed with me though. Although I in no ways shared the childhood that Sam Moore Muir had in the book, I felt like I related to her in SO MANY ways. Because of her childhood, she retreated and hid in her books (particularly Jane Austen) so that she didn't have to be real and live in the real world. Throughout the book, Sam learns that although it's painful to live in the real world, it's worth it, because along with the bad comes the very very good. When she steps outside the world of her books, she meets friends, her future adoptive parents and her boyfriend. I related to Sam in the way she hides. I don't think I hide in books, but I think I've hid in being what people want me to be. Instead of focusing on my identity in Christ, I tend to focus on what other people want me to be. It's easier to be a peacemaker and avoid conflict if you just do what others want all the time. The problem is that it isn't real and it isn't right to behave that way. I've tried to spend a lot more time in God's word this year and what I keep realizing is the more I become like Christ, the more glory I bring to God and the more I become like him. The more I am like him, the more fulfillment and peace I will feel. There won't be the need to hide in who I think people want me to be or "figure out who I am" (a common theme in many books today), because my main goal will to be like Christ. I guess the Lord has been working on this lesson before I actually pinpointed what the problem was, but I see it now and I was excited that he brought this to my attention. It makes sense with everything he's been showing me in my Bible and at Bible study. 

Book Review: The Atlantis Trilogy

I've had the best time reading the fictional sci-fy series, The Atlantis Gene, The Atlantis Plague, and The Atlantis World. I haven't read a fictional book series in a while, so this was a welcome change. I signed up for the free kindle unlimited trial and saw this series pop up. It was a spur of the moment decision, and I didn't know much about the series before I began. If you enjoy suspenseful syi-fy books with lots of detail, these are for you. There were so many times in these books that I was in awe of how much research the author must have had to do for the backstory. The books have few swear words and no explicit scenes--which made me like them even more. 

Book Review: The Fringe Hours

I recently finished reading the book The Fringe Hours by Jessica Turner. She is well known for her popular blog called The Mom Creative. The book was on sale for $2.99 on Amazon Kindle, and I snagged it up as soon as I could. It was on my book list for this year which made the deal even better in my eyes! I have mixed feelings about this book. I love most of what she says, but there are a few things I disagree with. When I finished the book, I felt inspired. Here are a few of my "take-aways."

1. Take Care of Yourself- I know this seems like a weird and obvious thing to take away from a book, but it's true...Drink water, floss your teeth, go to REGULAR Dr. appointments, when something doesn't feel right--go to the Dr...Once babies, jobs, husbands, etc... come along, it somehow becomes easier to put all of these things on the back burner. There is ALWAYS time to do these things. 

2. There is ALWAYS Time to do What you Love-Jessica really challenged me to figure out what things I enjoy doing and what things I want to learn. After that, she challenged me to figure out a time frame where I can make those things happen. Because of this thought process, I've decided to wake up 30 minutes earlier than I have been this past month (6 am) and use that time to study the Bible more. I also decided that I want to learn how to sew. I've said for the longest time, "I wish I could sew, I just don't have time to learn." No more excuses. There is time. I just finished a Bible study with my friend, which frees up my Tuesday mornings. I'm going to ask my Grandma if she can teach me. If my Grandma is unable to teach me, I am going to ask for a paid class at JoAnns for my birthday. It's never too late to learn and make time to do things we are interested in. 

3. Use your Fringe Hours- Use the little minutes we have here and there to finish a task, and do something we enjoy. I put this into practice this week while I was cooking dinner. While I was waiting for the water to boil, I pulled out my kindle and got extra minutes of reading in. That was a full chapter. I was so thankful I didn't pull out my phone and aimlessly browse. 

There were a few things in the book that I didn't love, and I believe they are my own personal conviction...not anything the author is doing wrong. Overall, I felt like this book gave me a renewed vision on figuring out what I love and making time to do those things. God, my husband and Cora come first, but there is always time to do something I enjoy...even if it's just for a few fringe moments. 

Kitchen Surprises

I am almost finished tidying up our house! It's taken much longer than the author suggests, but I'm working on a schedule that only allows tidy time during Cora's nap. On Friday, I tackled my kitchen. I was completely shocked, because I had almost 7 bags of trash by the time I was done. It occurred to me that I had never gone through our kitchen since being married. I hadn't even gone through the items before we moved from Florida to Michigan. I guess I was just so overwhelmed with a newborn, I didn't take the time to go through everything. This has been the most rewarding area, because this is the room I spend the most time in. My drawers aren't cramped with millions of kitchen utensils I don't use. My "Lazy Susans" aren't banging around when I turn them from being over stuffed. It is such an addicting and freeing feeling to not have stuff everywhere. I can't get over how much more happy I feel being at home knowing that the things I love are in order and not piling up everywhere. Tidying Up has taken away that every day feeling of..."I must organizing something...I must clean something...something feels off." I like that the process has been slow for me. Some days while I have gone through my things, I've felt tired and overwhelmed. I think if i would have tried to do too much too quick, I may have given up or broke down. I've spent about an hour a day and am basically finished tidying after two weeks total. The only 2 spots I have left is our coat closet and pantry. I completely forgot to go through our coat closet when I began discarding clothing. OOPS! I have to buy a few storage containers for our pantry before I can start tidying it up. 

I took some pictures to show my progress so far. I wish I would have taken some before pictures: 

I really don't feel like the pictures do it justice, but you can at least see a few areas that used to be BURSTING with things and are now calm and peaceful. I'm really thankful for the time to be able to do this. It's been very rewarding and exciting. 

Tidying-A New Way of Life

I am so surprised at how The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up is changing my life! (Ha-Ha) I know the title of the book promises it to be "life changing," but I have read many books that promise things without any results. I find myself excited to tidy the next category on my list, and the places in my house that I enjoy to be in the most, are the areas that have been tidied already. There are a few things I've had second thoughts about giving up, but I think it's more guilt of people finding out some of the gifts they've given me are now in someone else's closet. I'm trying to tell myeslf what the author says...(in my own words) Would you be happy if a gift you got someone else was just sitting in their closet never being used? It's better off being in a place where it will get use. It helps a little bit. By nature, I'm prone to feel guilty about everything...so this may go deeper! (ha-ha) 

It's funny how this new view of tidying is going alongside my New Year's Resolution to be more giving and to find ways to be generous. I don't always have money or gifts to give to someone, but some of the things I already own in my home, are things that people need or can use. I was so happy to give many of my clothes and accessories to some young girls at my church who needed some new clothes for work and fun. 

I'm following the author's directions and purging when I'm alone at home during Cora's naps. She said that purging so much (even if it's your own things) can overwhelm other family members. I think she has a point, so I've had a few days off this weekend, and I'm excited to jump back in tomorrow. I will conquer paper and special items tomorrow. I'm planning on doing the kitchen on Wednesday. 

Here are some pictures of the results: 

Starting the New Year Right

At the end of the day, I feel like I have not done much because we have been home more. When I think back to all that we have done though, I see I am accomplishing a lot of my personal goals. Although they are not happening quickly, they are happening. I am viewing that as success. I don't think I have written my goals for 2016 yet, so I will write them down so that I can look back and remember what I was trying to accomplish.

1. Reading 2-3 books a month.
2. Waking up earlier so that I have 1/2 hour-1 hour to read my Bible and pray for my family.
3. Organizing and Minimizing my life
4. Spending less money and giving more money/help/encouragement/things
5. Reading a Bible story to Cora every day or talking about God to Cora every day. 
6. Blogging life and lessons :) 

I finished The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up and began my journey of tidying. As the author suggests, I started with my clothing, shoes and accessories. I was able to get rid of 2 1/2 bags of items. It felt good. What felt even better was that I could pass them along to a girl at my church. She was so thankful and had fun going through the items. There were a few things I was nervous to get rid of because they were gifts people gave me. I tried to stay strong and remember what Marie said. If it is just sitting in your closet and not bringing joy, there is no since to keep it. Remember the moment it was given to you and the thrill it gave to you then and move on. So I did. Today I move on to jewelry and bathroom items that build up (toiletries, lotions, soaps, etc...). I am hoping to conquer paper and office items tomorrow. My goals is to having my yearly tidying done by next Friday. I am not completing the process as fast as the author recommends to her readers, but I only have short intervals of time in which I am able to tackle these tasks. 

I finally woke up early today and was able to get some time to pray and be in the Word. It was WONDERFUL. I am reading through the prophet books which is kind of hard, but it has been interesting. 

I started two new books a few days ago and once I am close to finishing, I will do some book reviews on them. The first book is The Fringe Hours and the second book is The Spy. I will give more details in a later post. 

Thankful for the time I have at home so that I can try and accomplish these goals. I am most thankful though for God and his grace, which is ultimately why I can get anything done. 

Book Review Part 2: The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up

I finished The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up last night, and I wanted to summarize my thoughts before I forgot all the good tidbits that I learned. Overall, this book is very weird. Things like talking to my house and talking to objects in my house are strange to me. Despite it's oddities, I came away learning quite a few things. My biggest "take aways" were:

1. When you tidy, you are "dealing with" your past and future- I know I worded that weird, but I think she brought up some good points. When you are having to discard a lot of possessions, you have to force yourself to think WHY you really have it. Like I mentioned in my previous post, the author says MANY times, "Does this object spark joy?" If it does not, then you should discard it. Remember the joy it brought in the past, and move on. (Sorry, but I just can not thank a purse for the good times we had-it is too strange. HA) I like the moving on part though. That created a paradigm shift for me. 

2. I have already started discarding in my mind- Even though I have not actually started my discarding yet (busy week), I already find myself looking around and saying good bye to stuff in my mind... I have already parted with the purses in my closet. I have parted with various dresses in my closet, and I am saying good bye to the colorful programs from plays I saw almost 15 years ago. I find myself asking, "Why on earth did I keep this?" In a way, the author has released me from hanging on to something because it is a memory or because I feel guilty to discard it. If it does not bring me joy any more, why would I keep it? 

3. Her folding techniques are amazingly fun-Her suggestions for folding look kind of fun to try. I am wondering if it will be realistic for me to keep them up, but I like the idea of being able to see everything. I am realizing that is the flaw with most of my storage! When you can not see what you have, you do not use it. 

Book Review Part 1: The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up

This year, I have made it my goal to read more diverse books. The first book I am crossing off my list is The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Maurie Kondo. I have made it through a quarter of the book, and I am enjoying it so far. I was not sure what to expect, because I have heard mixed reviews about the book. I do not want to forget what I am learning, so I wanted to write a few things down to help me remember all these good tips she is sharing.

1. Start with discarding-Before you can organize anything, you need to go through your house completely and discard anything that, as she puts it, "does not bring you joy" anymore. (Also, I add...anything you do not need.)

2. Go by category...not room-This was pretty eye opening for me, because I had never thought of this. Instead of doing the laundry room, living room, bedroom, etc...Start with clothes, then towels, then toiletries, then paper, etc... The author has a recommended order of tidying that you follow...That way you are doing ALL the clothes at once and ALL the paper at once. It saves time and energy. This makes SO much sense.

3.Take everything out first- She says that when you take everything out and see what you have in the space you are organizing, it is easier to see what you have duplicates of or what you have too much of. In the end, this makes organizing easier too.  

4.Be courteous of other family members' things-I felt guilty about this one, because I have done this. It is not right to try and discard anything that is not yours without permission. She contends that focusing on your own things actually inspires others in your family to do the same...

5.Tidy up your things as quickly as possible- This means you "Tidy Up" once or twice a year. You should NOT do this over the course of weeks or months. If possible finish in 1-3 days. For me it will take longer, because I will be working during Cora's nap time. Once you have the items that you need and the items that bring you joy, it is easier to keep them in the desired spot. 

6. Did it bring you joy already?- This is where it kind of got weird, but I got what she was saying. It is hard to let go of things that carry meanings or memories. In fact, I have 4 purses in my closet that I have not said good bye to because they carry a memory. I have not used them in years though. She said, that you should take every object and really think about if the object still brings you joy or if it already brought you joy. If it has already brought you joy, thank the object (WEIRD PART) and discard it. I think I will skip the thanking the object part, but asking myself those questions, actually has already helped me purge those purses in my mind. That made sense to me too. 


I'm excited to continue this and I am even more excited to purge or "discard" once I finish the book. I am glad I am ringing in the New Year with this book, because it is a great way to get organized!

Madame Blueberry

I have had this post on my mind for almost two years. It is actually one of the reasons I wanted to start a blog. The Lord taught me many lessons when we moved, and this was one that I did not want to forget. 

When we moved from Florida to Michigan, the company that Phil currently works for, offered to pay for our moving expenses. We hired a professional moving company and they packed up our things and then loaded and unloaded them. It was a complete LUXURY and the best gift anyone could give a new mom with a newborn baby. The moving process was really interesting to watch. After the moving company packs everything up, they go around and label EVERYTHING with a number. When I say everything, I mean EVERYTHING...even a cup of pens, a stray shoe under the bed...Everything gets a number. It's a wonderful process for taking inventory and helps them keep track of anything that may be damaged while being moved. Typically, you don't really think of the exact number of things you have, so when you see the man pull off the sticker 245 you think, "Wow, I have so much stuff." I cannot find the sheet that had the final number, but I am positive it went up to the 300's. After viewing the final number during our move, my teacher brain went immediately to the "Madame Blueberry" episode on Veggie Tales. In case you have never seen this episode, here is the plot summary from IMDb, 

"Even though Madame Blueberry lives in a nice treehouse, and has lots of friends, she is still upset because she always thinks she needs more "stuff". When a new Stuff-Mart superstore opens up near her home, she loads up with everything she can, but is still sad. Eventually, Madame Blueberry learns that it's important to be thankful for what you already have." 

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0500166/plotsummary?ref_=tt_ov_pl

I felt like Madame Blueberry. We had SO MUCH stuff. I felt convicted because there were so many moments during the years we lived in that house that I felt we needed more. I felt like our house was "empty" in some rooms. I felt like it was not good enough or pretty enough... and then I saw that number...and I realized we had more than enough...more than we would ever need. Which then led me to see even further...Our Heavenly Father has given us the thing we need the most...our salvation. It is crazy how much meaning those moving stickers have to me. Every time I pull out a Christmas decoration from the basement or a random object from the garage, I find one of those stickers, and I am reminded of this lesson all over again.

 

Tangled Necklaces

It's January and the cold has finally settled in here in Michigan. Usually around this time of year, I find myself staying inside more and enjoying the coziness and warmth of our house. In a lot of ways I like the way the cold forces me to slow down and enjoy just being home. I welcome it like an old friend, because I'm tired. Summer, birthdays and holidays have come and gone and this is a nice break to take some time to reevaluate and breathe. The introvert in me savors this. Even though the summer-flip flop loving side of me becomes completely homesick for beautiful Florida this time of year, I'm reminded that the cold SLOWS me down. Something that I had trouble doing while I lived in Florida. 

Cora received a jewelry box for Christmas from her Siti. She loves it. She loves the music and the "lady in a costume." (AKA Ballerina haha) She loves all the small trinkets that she puts inside of it. I decided that I would bring out my old jewelry box too. It was a good idea, because she delighted in it so much that she played with it for almost forty five minutes. This was a big deal to me, because normally she plays with things no longer than five minutes or so. She is two after all. Anyways, she loved all my weird little Lisa Frank accessories, armadillo anklet, beaded pig necklace, charm from Grandma R.... Although I can't explain to her why these crazy things are important to me, I enjoyed watching her take out all of the jewelry and smile. When she opened up one of the drawers there was a ball of tangled necklaces. It cracked me up, because it has taken a lot of practice and hard work for me to become organized. Something like that would drive me crazy now, but when I was 13 years old, a ball of tangled necklaces wouldn't bother me a bit. Cora handed me the necklaces, and I began to try to figure out how to get them untangled. As I was unwinding and twisting the mess of latches and beads and chains, I started to think about how this ball of tangled necklaces pictured how our life must look without Christ. All these pieces of our life-problems, hardships, sufferings, blessings, rewards, and even the mundane...stuck together. When we try to sort them out on our own, we become frustrated and confused and want to give up(as I did while untangling the necklaces haha). What I realized though, is our lives can look like tangled necklaces and we can still have peace... because we have  God who looks past the tangled mess and helps us sort through the mess. He's long suffering, patient and kind and died for us so that we can have a perfect life one day. A life that is not tangled. I'm thankful for this lesson, and I pray that one day Cora will understand what this is like one day too! <3